Jenniejenmarie's Blog

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set to self destruct August 19, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — jenniejenmarie @ 4:21 am

The trap I set for you seems to have caught my leg instead.

 

i’m so confused. i wish someone would just come up to me and say: “JENNIE, what the fuck are you doing? Like seriously, what are you doing with your life and your thoughts and your choices?” Also, if this person would proceed to tell me what I’m doing with my life, thoughts, and choices I would really appreciate that.

Man, I make poor choices. Poor, poor, poooooorrr choices. I swear I’m set to self destruct. I know the things I’m doing are fucking stupid, but I just keep falling into this muck and I keep being an asshole. Oof, I guess you can’t control the things that you are good at. Maybe I shouldn’t worry so much-actually, I know I shouldn’t worry so much. Maybe, I should just work on my life/life choices/future life choices. Maybe, I just don’t give a shit anymore. I say run my stupid life into the ground might as well.

This is a good time to retreat, to nerd out, to read books and stay in. RETREAT.

Ugh, do I have to be so craven all the time?

in retrospect, I’m often too hard on myself. I’m my own biggest critic. so unhappy with how I am sometimes. I mean, I know I’m a regular badass and all that business, but sometimes I start to doubt. I doubt that I am great, that I do the right things (ever), I doubt that I will ever figure things out, I ultimately just worry too fucking much. Fuck it. If these people don’t like me then I am sure that some person, somewhere, at some other time probably will.

Learning life lessons mother fucks. Starting with talking like a lady…

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I make poor choices June 18, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — jenniejenmarie @ 4:18 am

and by that I mean, I make poor people choices. Like taco bell, staying in and cheap beer. hellooo friday night.

seriously though, I make poor choices. I’m not sure why I bother sometimes.

I really hate moving. I hate that every summer, LITERALLY EVERY SUMMER,  I move. it’s always hot. it’s always miserable and I always wish that my life was some form of consistent, or at least a years worth of consistent, and I wouldn’t have to undergo the fiasco that is moving all of my shit less than 30 minutes away from where it currently resides. I could just spend my entire summer inside, on the couch eating poor people popsicles (which aren’t even called popsicles, but instead freezepops or popice or some other bullshit), with all of my belongings securely cluttered around the same crap-hole as the summer before. What a glorious hassle-free summer that would be.

However, this is not the case. I am not spending my summer lounging. Nope. I am out sweltering in the hot sun moving bullshit into other bullshit. bullshit.

I wish I had fabulous things to report to you. Tales of new “real” jobs in which the employers provided their staff with wages that actually paid the bills, retirement plans,  and even health insurance. Tales of  fabulous riches that I just happened upon, or acquired illegally in some badass heisty sort of way. Or even some crazy shit like dragon slaying (I’ve been reading/watching a lot of Game of Thrones lately) yeah that’s right dragon slaying. Unfortunately, none of these fabulous things are the case.

Instead I will say that my life is really hot. Hott and steamy that is-and by that I mean the AC is broken. And by that I mean, my car AC, the pea’s AC, and the earth’s AC. BROKEN. If you haven’t noticed it’s fucking hot outside. more bullshit.

 

where’s my fucking chocolate bunny? April 24, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — jenniejenmarie @ 10:24 pm

sometimes i make reluctant choices. it’s like I sense it’s a bad choice, but the lack of ample processing time prohibits me from stopping and then i’m stuck. Oof vagueblogging .

I hate working holidays at the BEP. Easter is stupid. I mean, where’s my fucking chocolate bunny?

Pearl now has a working cd player AND a working ac! Boosh! getting shits fixed and shit.

nothing to sayyyyyy.

 

there is no there April 8, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — jenniejenmarie @ 4:07 pm

so happy. I am so happy. It’s like I’ve finally realized how incredibly amazing my life is.

Also, I just had the strangest dreams. I need to stop watching Teen Mom, that trashy bitch is now haunting my dreams with her baby perils which makes me late to work :/

Jesus, I wish I could see The Books everyday of my life. The worst part was they stopped playing. absolutely stunning.

it’s just so good.

 

it’ll be alright. April 3, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — jenniejenmarie @ 3:04 pm

 

my  life is so obviously a joke. At least it’s funny, right?

 

 

you can judge the whole world on the sparkle that you think it lacks. March 25, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — jenniejenmarie @ 12:18 pm

I honestly have the best intentions. somehow, those rarely seem to count when it actually matters.

 

 

 

 

one who is easily deceived; a dupe. March 19, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — jenniejenmarie @ 4:28 pm

if I could have it back, all the time that we wasted, you know I’d love to waste it again.

Sucks that you’ve basically decided to not be my friend anymore. Sucks even more that you were, clearly, never really a friend anyways. some things in this life suck.

this isn’t all my responsibility. I feel like maybe one day you’ll tell me why we suddenly aren’t friends, don’t hang out, and don’t talk, but in the present you seem to have nothing to say to me. I feel like I seem mad. I’m not mad, but I can’t understand what I did that was so wrong. I’m bummed that we can’t/don’t hang out anymore, that there seems to be weird tension, and even more bummed because I think this is what our friendship is going to be or something. I suppose you’ll just go ahead and take all my other friends with you when you leave. boo, this time I didn’t even violate the platinum rule and I’m being punished.

I think I should come with a warning label or a disclaimer:  I’m probably not your person. In fact, because I’m such an asshole, most times, I know I’m not. You probably don’t know what I’m thinking or how I’m feeling, because I don’t even know that shit. I’ve got this thing that I consider my only art of fucking people over. I suck, suckaaa.

Sorry.

Sidenotes:

This day can fuck off.

i think there’s an itunes shuffle consipracy. This shit is never random-it’s always shit i’ve been shuffling through already, shit I don’t want to hear when I really want to hear something good, or some other shit that reminds me of other shit that I don’t want to think about.  I know there’s music I want to hear in there somewhere.

Also, I wish life was less confusing. I wish people were less confusing. Actually, I’d  even settle for just personally being less confusing/indecisive. I detest being confused, but alas, there is hope as this week has been full of mostly good times, two full days off, and plenty o’ nachos.

This has been in my head all day: